Why I Write

I have always been writing. I believe in the power of words. The way words can evoke emotions or inspire great ideas. The way words shape not only what we think but the way we think. Words also allow us to partake in the divine - it allows us to create. I am no artist and cannot paint or draw. The realm in which I create is the world of words.

Writing has also allowed me to chronicle my journey. Being inquisitive and slightly self-indulgent, putting my thoughts down in an almost daily journal has allowed me snapshots of myself at various points in my life and how I processed things. Reading old journals now allows me to see how my brain is hard-wired. It allows me to see areas where it looks like I’ve grown and allowed me to see patterns of thinking and patterns of behaviour. As my brain is the pilot for this earthly journey of maybe around 40 more years on this planet, I’d love to see where it takes me. I’d love to see how decisions that I’ve processed in my journal will translate in the real world. How seemingly small and innocuous decisions, become planks on a bridge that lead to a certain direction. I’ve already witnessed this - how a whimsical decision to maybe apply for grad school led to a life outside my home country. How a decision to join a particular class in college allowed me to meet certain persons who became lifelong friends. How a yes to a random call by a headhunter led me to my job. There are so many what ifs. What if I signed up for another class? What if I decided not to take the call. When I write these things down, it makes aware that seemingly small decisions lead to big things. I set down below the reasons why I write.

It helps me remember.

Memory fails me. I might colour my memories and remember things as I wish to remember them and not the way they happened. I am a seeker of truth and a historian at heart so it is important to me to chronicle the past accurately.

It allows me to process.

Setting things down allows me to isolate the issue, troubleshoot it and analyze it to death. I then let it go and come back to it when I’m in a more receptive frame of mind.

It allows me to share my life.

If there’s anything I’ve learned over the past couple of years, it is that we are more similar than we are different. Or that even if we are different, these differences allow us to challenge our moral compass and what we would have thought were strongly-held beliefs. How boring life would be if we all thought the same way. I have been lucky to have friends from different backgrounds and cultures. Our differences allow us to be interesting to each other but certain important similarities like core values or major interests allow us to explore activities, books, trips, food, movies, music, inane stories, important life experiences and things which make us feel alive. In doing so we enrich each other’s lives and makes the car ride through life more interesting. I love having wonderful conversations. Writing is another way to have a long conversation.

It allows me to truly engage life. (Personally, the most important reason for me.)

If you’re having a dry spell in terms of writing it usually means you are uninspired and uninterested in life. Writers are inquisitive creatures. We like pursuing thoughts and ideas. We want to skim underneath the surface and discover things. We are addicted to eureka moments. We want to be actively engaged in a life worth writing about or experiencing things worth setting down.

It develops self-awareness.

Since it is YOUR THOUGHTS that are being recorded, a necessary side-effect of writing is self-discovery. It is important to know one’s self in order to make decisions that will allow us to be happy.

Do you write? What’s your story? Maybe it’s time to explore the world of words and create a life worth writing about.

I wish to dance and find music in my life again

There is something about daily drudgery and countless battles with "those who do not believe in what is right" that wears a spirit down. I feel like Tinker Bell who's lost her glow and has no pixie dust left to allow anyone to fly.  The corporate rat race has eaten bits of my soul until I no longer recognize the blogs of the Prata Princess.  

It is a time of growth.  A different stage in life where I find myself making even more difficult choices (it doesn't seem to get any easier!).  

Now, however, it truly is a choice. It is no longer life handing things fait accompli into my lap.  I find myself belatedly having to rechart my course.  All I pray for is a trusty wind, fair weather and a map.  

On more mundane news, I've gotten myself a Mac so am inspired to write again.

I am seizing the reins and getting life back on track.

Seasons Change

My free-wheeling, gallivanting days are over.

I've now got more responsibilities at work. Am in the midst of renegotiating my lease. And the universe appears to be conspiring to kick my butt out of my comfort zone and stretching me a bit more.

I'll be the first to admit that I have been living hippie days - out of office by 6, dance classes, going to the gym, going out with friends, traveling and indulging in photography (I was out of Singapore for a total of 5 weeks last year!). In fact, this time last year, I was enjoying man candy and of course the architecture of Paris! La dolce vita!! I was using my day job to finance my dabbling into whatever caught my interest. Well, my happy blissful days are over. Commitment-aversement and responsibility avoidance are no longer possible for me. My mindset has also changed. I've become more focused. I don't say yes to everything. I am more measured and I put a lot more thought into my decisions.

Okay let's be honest here. I was never truly hedonistic. But, the last couple of years have seen me breaking loose after being "trapped" in an 8 year relationship and a job that was sucking the life out of me. Could I be blamed for wanting to get my groove back? Who would have thought that corporate Singapore would allow me the work-life balance that I never knew I wanted?

Despite the imminent threat to my work-life balance, I am finding myself challenged. Scared but excited. I know that the challenges ahead will push me. Fortunately, age has given me the perspective and the temperament to look at these challenges and apply my mind to making things work. In tagalog, may diskarte na ako ngayon.

Life continues to be interesting. You really never know what life will hand you. But someone said, if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. That's my Prata Princess motto for now.

C'est la vie! In the meantime, enjoy my "Seasons Change" shot of downtown Tokyo taken in January.

It's a Kind of Magic

Blown away by "We Will Rock You" which reminded me about my love affair with rock music and why I will always have some Pink Floyd, Guns n Roses, Nirvana and of course Queen on my mp3. I am half in love with MiG Ayesa, who has just gotten better since Rockstar Inxs. I picked up MiG's CD in Manila a year and half ago and caught bits of Rockstar Inxs on YouTube. But hearing and seeing him live is something else! The vibe, the passion, the angst, the confusion...he can act and sing and he looks damn hot.

But enough of MiG. We Will Rock You had a crazy effect on me today. Maybe it was because it was surreal to be at a rock show on what is supposed to be a lazy afternoon. The bass, dancing and music just reminded me about how magical moments are created when someone is just so passionate about what they're doing and how passion transforms the mundane into something that hits you in the gut, spits you out and makes you feel alive. I've been lucky to discover that utter feeling of being alive in the present moment, in the two passions that I've been nurturing since last year: photography and flamenco. I haven't been published for my photography. For now, I take photos only for myself to accompany my journals and writings. It's still something very intimate and intense. However, being a socially creature, I have been happy to be able to share my love for dance by performing publicly at a flamenco show last February. It wasn't a stellar performance, I really felt naked and vulnerable on stage and all I could do to clothe myself with was being immersed in the music and just allowing it to flow through me. I go for my second public performance soon and I'm having the time of my life. In keeping with the Queen theme, I'll have to end with this....


The bell that rings inside your mind
It’s challenging the doors of time
This flame that burns inside of me
I’m hearing secret harmonies
The bell that rings inside your mind
It’s challenging the doors of time
It’s a kind of magic

Still alive and kicking, ma'am!

I am still alive and kicking in Singapore! I have a resolution to renew ties with friends I've lost touch with and to start writing again. Will also share my adventures since my last blog, the biggest highlight of which was my two week adventure in Japan where I did a day hike all by myself! That trip pushed boundaries for me and I've never felt more alive! Back home in Singapore, I've been nurturing two new hobbies: photography (I finally committed to an SLR which captured my Japan adventure) and flamenco (complete with a public performance in February)!

Still evolving and still kicking ass (although in a mellower way). Details and photos coming up soon. Am off to dance class! Ole!

P.S. In keeping with (what I just realise) seems to be a theme of photos of bridges on my blog, enjoy the "Golden Gate Bridge" taken from Odaiba, Tokyo.

Bridges

Just came from a two week holiday and was blown away by the places I saw, people I met, and of course, the food! Prata Princess left her heart in Paris and Venice and Florence and Rome and had a videoke moment on every bridge in every city. Thoughts from the trip coming soon but in the meantime, enjoy the pictures.

Blading in Bishan

As part of my get-fit resolution for 2007, I started in-line skating lessons last weekend. It was SO MUCH FUN. I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed it. I really felt like a kid. Though I must tell you the kids kicked ass as they skated around us. My co-blading partner Miki and I are proud to say that during the entire hour it was zero-falls. Well technically this kid crashed into Miki but that doesn't count!

I have snaps of us on the ground learning how to fall properly...apparently there's an art to it. But, instead, let me share with you snaps of the lovely Bishan Park where we had our lessons.